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Facts
The term "intimate partner violence" describes physical, sexual, or psychological harm by a current or former partner or spouse. This type of violence can occur within heterosexual, same sex, and polyamorous relationships and does not require sexual intimacy.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner. According to the Centers for Disease Control, 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape.
Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Domestic violence is defined by Nebraska Law as abuse that occurs between spouses, persons living as spouses, or adult members of the same household. It is attempting to cause or intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly causing bodily injury with or without a deadly weapon, or placing another in fear of imminent serious bodily injury.
Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats which include any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone. Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender.
It can happen between couples who are married, living together, or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.
State definition of the above content.
Common Experiences
Each person may experiences Intimate Partner Violence and/or Sexual Assault differently. The following experiences may not be the same for everyone. Meaning that an individual may not experience everything listed, or may experience things that are not listed.
Some common experiences of Intimate Partner Violence include one’s partner checking the others cell phone or email without permission. They may constantly put their partner down. They may show extreme jealousy or insecurity. One may see their partner have an explosive temper, mood swings, and make false accusations.
Other common experiences include one partner isolating the other from family or friends, being very possessive, and telling the other person what to do. The violent partner may be physically harmful or pressure the other partner to have sex. Intimate Partner Violence is centered around one person’s power over, and control of, the other partner. These signs can begin at any point in the relationship.
A person who has experienced sexual assault may have a change in appetite, difficulty sleeping, nightmares, and physical injuries. They may experience a wide array of emotions from anger and hostility to sadness and anxiety. They may have a sense of shock and feelings of hopelessness. A common experience is that of guilt and shame.
It is always important to know that the person who experienced a sexual assault is NEVER at fault for it. They may experience flashbacks and have thoughts such as “am I damaged goods”? “What if I hadn't done…”? They may isolate themselves and have a fear of being in crowds. There could be difficulty with intimacy as well as getting day to day tasks accomplished. Again, each individual will have a different response and reaction.
Things You Can Do
If you think you are in a relationship that is unhealthy, you can seek the support of friends and/or family. CAPS is always available to students, faculty, and staff who are targets of intimate partner violence.
In addition, both Heartland Family Service and the Women’s Center for Advancement has advocates that are there to help! The WCA’s 24 hour crisis hotline is 402.345.7273. Heartland Family Service’s 24 hour crisis hotline is 1.800.523.3666. If you have suffered any physical injuries you can always seek medical help from a doctor or hospital.
A sexual assault is a traumatic event. Below is a list of things that can be done after a sexual assault.
IMMEDIATELY following a sexual assault
Go to a safe place. Consider going to your room, a friend’s room, or anywhere you will feel safe.
- Do not clean up. It may be difficult to keep from cleaning yourself up, but if you do you may destroy evidence that could be useful should you decide to report the assault to the police. Don't wash up, douche, change clothes, eat, brush your teeth, go to the bathroom or brush your hair. Even if you are not sure about reporting the assault, it makes sense to preserve the option of reporting until you make a final decision.
- Call someone you trust. No matter how late it is, you should not be alone. Consider calling a close friend or family member. Also consider calling a UNO staff member, such as Campus Security or one of the Residence Life staff members. You can call the Women’s Center for Advancement or Heartland Family Service, whose staff can be especially helpful in advocating for you and providing support. The WCA’s 24 hour crisis hotline is 402.345.7273. Heartland Family Service’s 24 hour crisis hotline is 1.800.523.3666.
WITHIN 24 HOURS of a sexual assault
Secure medical consultation. Go to Methodist Hospital, where a specially trained Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner can complete an exam that will secure evidence, should you choose to press chargers. Medical staff can evaluate any injuries you may have suffered, screen for sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy, and prescribe “morning after” emergency contraception (such contraception can actually be used as long as 72 hours after intercourse).
- Strongly consider securing your medical consultation from a specially trained Sexual Assault Forensic Examination nurse (often referred to as a “SANE nurse”). SANE nurses have the expertise to collect forensic evidence of the assault for possible prosecution of the assailant. The gathering of this evidence does not commit you to pursuing legal action against the assailant, but does preserve your options.
- The closest Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner is at Methodist Hospital on 84 th and Dodge Street.
- Consult with someone who can help you review your options for reporting the assault. You can talk to the Victim and Survivor Advocates or a community resource like the Women’s Center for Advancement/Heartland Family Service. They have advocates who are available to support survivors in many ways including: accompanying survivors to the hospital medical exams; helping survivors decide whether or not to report the assault to the local police; accompanying survivors to the police station; and general legal and emotional support and advocacy. You may also choose to go directly to the Omaha Police Department.
IN THE DAYS FOLLOWING a sexual assault
Consult with a counselor. Many survivors of sexual assault experience troubling emotions in the wake of the assault. Sometimes these emotions occur immediately after the assault and sometimes they occur later. It isn't uncommon for survivors to experience shock, anger, helplessness, self-blame, shame, problems with eating or sleeping, difficulty concentrating, mood swings, irritability, denial and fear. A professional counselor can help you sort through and understand your feelings and can help you work to get your life back on track.
- Report to UNO Deputy Title IX Coordinator, Sarah Weil.
- Review the Title IX Webpage for next steps, including a reporting form that has an option for anonymity.
- Reach out to the Victim and Survivor Advocates.
- Seeking out counseling services can be beneficial to deal with the emotional aspects of intimate partner violence and/or sexual assault. Counseling is confidential and can help provide you with the support you may need.
Helping a Friend
Helping a friend who is the target of intimate partner violence can be difficult but there are things you can do. If you are concerned that a friend may be in an unhealthy relationship do not be afraid to reach out to them. Even if they do not want help right away they may be more willing to reach out to you in the future. Abuse is NEVER their fault!
Keep the focus on your friend and not the abuser. It is important that your friend know that you are concerned about them. Do not contact the abuser. This could end up making things worse for your friend. It is important that you be there and supportive of your friend.
Assisting a friend who has been sexually assaulted is incredibly difficult. You might have your own intense feelings about the situation. It is important that you have support as well! Feel free to seek out the assistance of CAPS as you strive to assist your friend.
When helping a friend who has been sexually assaulted it important that you take on the role of a friend and not an investigator. It is important to be there and listen. Believe what they tell you and be sure they know you believe them.
Remember that sexual assault is NEVER the fault of the person who was assaulted. Let them talk about it and decide what they want to do. Some do not want to report it, or at least not in the moment, and it is important you let them make that decision. Reach out for support as you need it!
Helpful Web Resources
Center for Disease Control and Prevention