Facts
Relationships come in many forms, such as: friendships, family relationships, and dating relationships. Any relationship in which we can truly be ourselves can have a positive impact on our overall health and wellness. Assertive communication is key to any positive relationship.
To communicate assertively means openly expressing one’s thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs while respecting the boundaries of self and others. Relying on mind-reading to get one’s needs met is almost always a recipe for conflict.
Signs of a Healthy Relationship
There are many things that create a healthy relationship. In healthy relationships both partners treat each other with kindness and respect. Even in times of conflict or disagreement, there should still be an undercurrent of respect. Both parties in a relationship should have their own identities apart from the relationship. Each person should have their own things they do and are involved in that doesn't always include the other person.
Trust plays a huge part in any type of relationship. This means that each person should feel free to openly ask questions about each other and the relationship. Any relationship will have its ups and downs but overall each person should be able to have fun, laugh, and play together.
Each person should be genuinely interested in the lives of the other. This includes both the other person’s successes and struggles. Each individual should be responsible for their own level of happiness.
This means that one should find happiness from within and not rely solely on the other person as their only source of happiness. The idea that someone “makes me happy” or “makes me sad” is a myth. Only you can be the source of your own emotions.
Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
It is important to be aware of the signs of an unhealthy relationship. In an unhealthy relationship, one person may try to control or manipulate the other. There is a disregard for the other person’s boundaries, experiences, or emotions.
There may be no room for personal identities and interests outside of the relationship. Spending time with others outside of the relationship may be discouraged. There may be criticism of the other person’s personal attributes. One person, or multiple, may blame others in the relationship for their own unhappiness.
Someone in an unhealthy relationship might be ignored when speaking. Any form of harm, such as insulting, hitting, grabbing, and pushing, is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
Helping Yourself
If you are in an unhealthy relationship, there are many things that you can do. Feel free to come and talk to a counselor individually to help you navigate the many aspects of your relationship. Couples counseling can also be helpful in exploring communication problems in a romantic relationship.
In addition, you can use Health Services for STD/STI testing, reproductive health, and more. Be informed! You can increase your “relationship intelligence” by using the resources listed in the sidebar, attending campus workshops, and talking with others about their experiences.
Helping a Friend
If a friend gets involved in a dating relationship, it can often feel like they have ‘fallen off the face of the earth’ as they spend more and more time with their significant other. This is somewhat normal during the initial stages of a relationship.
However, if you notice your friend’s significant other is controlling, critical, and discouraging your friend from spending time with you or others, your friend may be involved in an unhealthy relationship.
Let them know you are there to listen. If your friend is an enrolled UNO student, refer them to the CAPS for help, or you may contact CAPS for community resources. Supporting a friend in an unhealthy relationship can be stressful, so remember to seek support for yourself too.